SPEAKER_03: 0:13

Welcome back to another episode of the World Through Zen Eyes podcast. I'm Jonans and I'm here with Dr. Ruben Lambert. And welcome back and happy new year, I think. Yes, happy new year. This is the first one. The first one in the new year.

SPEAKER_01: 0:30

First one in the new year. Well, solar new year if we're going to first bride, right? Defined year and how many we celebrate.

SPEAKER_03: 0:40

We are par party animals. Yes, we are. We have the winter solstice, that's one celebration. Then we have the solar new year. Then we have the lunar new year. Then we have Ipchun. Chungwal Taburum, if you count the first uh full moon of the new solar, no lunar year. So um lots of opportunity for new beginnings. Right. It's a season of renewal. Right. And uh we are what is today? Today is the 16th of January. Yes. So uh I guess a good idea would be to talk about what happens after we make that full trip around the sun.

SPEAKER_01: 1:25

Right. To most human beings. Yes. I think it's a time where there's a uh a resurgence of gym memberships. That's right. Everyone is calling their therapists, trying to get everyone's trying to uh yeah. Think about how they can better themselves, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:47

You know, it's um I remember No Jangnim. Uh Un Sanim was telling us a story once, and of course I um I believe it was the lunar new year. You know, big celebration and whatnot. And Sanyim as a as a kid at the time says, Oh no jangnim, today is uh new year.

SPEAKER_02: 2:19

Oh and this uh sun comes up a different place?

SPEAKER_03: 2:25

What? Sun comes up in some different place, no it goes down in a different place? No. Which is which is interesting because we could we could um we could look at it that way that it's a construct right who's counting. If no one was counting, how would you know new year or or what have you? And and this is more so with the uh Gregorian calendar and and the unification of businesses, frankly. Uh lunar calendar is a little bit more nature-oriented and agriculturally uh focused, really.

SPEAKER_01: 3:18

Right, it's in sync with the uh natural cycles cycles of mother nature, right?

SPEAKER_03: 3:23

Yeah. And when when when we were close to the earth in a sense, when we were still I mean, people are farming still today, I'm saying when the majority of people were tied into the natural rhythm of life, they had to know these things. In fact, um when you become of age, as it were, long time ago in Korea, you go through an examination, and this is this is only for the um for the higher castes that were there at the time. Um so the young bun class, uh, you would go through an examination as a child, and when you passed, you would be given a hope. Hope was a little tablet that hung off your hung off your belt, and it had some information on it, and uh it made you an adult in a sense.

SPEAKER_01: 4:22

Um you had sufficient understanding and knowledge of certain things, yes. Certain natural laws and and certain things. And that was a functioning and living in the world, right? You were ready for those things. Yeah, right. And those were the questions asked.

SPEAKER_03: 4:37

You know, one of the first questions was about the C B uh the EC um EC Sai Talgi, the 24 seasons seasons, right? And uh, you know, the way it worked out, the elders of the family uh sat and and you were sort of cross-examined. Great grandpa and grandpa and and father and uncles and and you know uh you were you were cross-examined on account of what is your knowledge of certain things. Uh proper behavior like a jajagyu. Uh in the Yangban cast, you were also asked about agricultural things of when is wheat planted, when is rice planted, when it's harvested, etc. etc. You know, and and and uh even though you yourself were not a farmer, you were the owner, and the owner ought to know. You know, it's it's a little bit different today. You you hire a foreman or or a manager and they run it, and you you could go and do whatever your heart desires. But back then, as the owner, you you know, and the kings were also in that way. You you were to know the lives of the subjects, not aloof, not separated, not, you know, I mean, obviously you had a different life, but you you were to know the going-ons because uh how else are you to attend or help or or you know, I mean, you could bring a country to ruin if you don't know what you're doing. That rhymes. Um and uh yeah, so we could go with that.

SPEAKER_01: 6:26

Um I think that I think people live uh in a truer sense by the word community and understanding what it is to commune with the people that support you and what it is to commune with the earth itself. And if you look at a lot of the I think every culture has something along these lines, these rites of passages where they highlight what it is that is necessary in order for the collective to survive, right? In this case, you're describing, yeah, the you know, the child that's becoming a man had to understand what it is that fed the either the household or the greater community, which is agriculture and maybe hunting. Uh and and you could see in these rites of passages with with the Native American tribes where they had to understand you know what it is that we hunt for the survival of the tribe, and then you were able to include some type of morality along with that, right? Where you you honor the killing and then you don't waste any part of that which you killed, and this this becomes then a transmission from generation to generation. The other thing, too, that when you said 24 season, what I thought of is uh the measuring stick that people use to look at or notice these changes, right? Because in the greater culture here in the West, we only talk about four seasons, right? So what is your measuring stick? Right. Right. You can talk about you know the greater changes in the in the universe, and you can look at the day to day, whether it's the moment of renewal and change comes with each breath or each morning, each day, each week, each month. You know, what it is, what is it that you're trying to you know accomplish, and by what means of measurement are you using? Every challah, right? Every nanosecond, or you know, so I I guess this just becomes important background context for us to understand.

SPEAKER_03: 8:33

Yeah, and and you mentioned some communal and community and holistic view of life. Um it it's the hunting and and the rituals that were that were performed, uh, the hunt wasn't selfish. Right. You know, still in in Alaska, uh, and I'm sure in other cultures, uh not the ones that that have uh or the ideologies or philosophies that have so heavily skewed towards individualism uh in those places. Uh if you go for a hunt, uh you what you bring back, you share especially with the elderly who can hunt anymore. Yes. You know, and and and it's this memory and and remembrance, you know, of the fact that you're most likely learned any skill you possess from the elders, whether it's hunting or weaving or house building or whatever it may be. And so you had that gift from them when they were able, uh, and you mustn't forget that you are to return uh the fruit of that gift when the time comes. And so help the ones who can't no longer uh, you know, but it it's if it's not weaved into the general psyche, it doesn't work. And this is the problem we're we're facing with, because then people say, Well, you know, I'm I'm gonna do a thing, but no one's gonna do a thing for me. So it is just this twisted survivalist mechanism kicks in and says, Well, you know, I yeah, I'll do it for somebody, but nobody's gonna do it for me, then why should I? kind of thing. So yeah, the the communal holistic uh view of life.

SPEAKER_01: 10:35

But do you think as these societies grow larger and we infuse technology into it and and we weave these highways of uh there's this these exchanges of goods that can literally come from anywhere in the world in an instant, right? You can have strawberries 24 hours a day. I always say to someone, yes, you always gain something, but what do you lose as things advance? And you lose, I think over time, appreciation and understanding that you know life is a unbroken link of cause and effect. And when you go to these um more secluded areas, this idea of appreciation is more is louder and highlighted more because they're a little bit more distant from this instant chain of like, okay, if you know I have a teacher, but you know, there's a million teachers around, I get kicked out of this, I can be rude to this teacher, and I don't lose my teacher. I now go to another classroom and have another teacher. But when you have this direct link of like, I know how to hunt, and it came specifically from this person, and then my grandfather, and then he got it from his father and his father and his father. You see it, you're close to it, you can touch it, you can feel it. I think we generate a greater sense of appreciation. And I've seen those documentaries on the whale hunting, and and it's it's almost a matter of life and death for the communities that are a little bit more isolated, and it's more poignant, right? Because if they don't come back with the hunt, the whole community suffered.

SPEAKER_03: 12:01

The whole community suffers, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 12:02

Right. And I've seen that and they do a ritual. I've seen it too when they when they cut the whale at the shoreline, it's a ritual. It's it's really they infuse this idea of of spirit and wholeness and oneness in this whole process. Yeah, really, it's a beautiful, yeah. It's not a slaughter so much as uh you know holy colours. Celebration of life, yeah, right. We have the we can go on, right? You know, our culture can go on, our the things that we value can continue, our lives can continue because of this. So, how could you not have gratitude and appreciation? But when we distance ourselves from it, right? Like it's almost like when everything becomes monotonous, and you know you know, you know, when you go to the sink, you're gonna turn it on, and there's water. You know, when you you know you want hot water, it's there. You know, when you open your fridge, there are things there. Naturally, over the course of time, and this is also in relationships. You you understand that this person is just you know, your parents are always there when you when you need them and and they provide for you all your basic needs. Unfortunately, human beings, we have this sense to or we just become less appreciative, we forget. And that's why I think I just tying this all back to the new year, these moments of renewal and change is a time to really hone in and understand that everything wake up, everything's interconnected. You have to appreciate this unbroken causal chain from way long ago that has brought literally these gifts to you. Don't waste it.

SPEAKER_03: 13:40

Yeah, don't waste it, is a big one. Like you said, where you you can leave the water running in a sink uh when you're brushing your teeth or or you know, you're making a you know great excursion towards the refrigerator and then you but the water's still running. Um hot water, yeah. But if you had to chop wood to to make that water hot, your your your uh economy of the usage changes drastically. Um and and this is this is the this is a matter of of of uh thinking.

SPEAKER_02: 14:18

I think just thinking because we we have it.

SPEAKER_03: 14:22

Yeah, you're thirsty and and you've gone out and uh you have your water bottle, and when you start seeing, oh, I have like you know, eighth of the bottle of water, and it's a hot, hot day, you know, uh, you know, and you finish up the water and and you kind of wait, your tongue sticking out, you wait for that one last drop drop to hit your tongue because you know, oh, I mustn't waste it. Um of course, for most of us, and and by and large, we you know, with stones throw away from a store where you could buy more water, but um still there's there are those moments that remind us we're just not wakeful enough in our day-to-day lives to catch these things. We're in a rush of pursuit of something. You know, wakefulness, if you feel a sensation that signals for you to go to the restroom and you feel then and you acknowledge then you have a thought, oh I gotta go to the bathroom. As you stand up and as you start your feet moving and you open the door and you go into the bathroom, between where you initially receive the sensation, acknowledged the sensation, and the whole great journey for you to get to the bathroom, depending on how far away from you are, um it it's the mind is transported. So if I feel the urge to go now, I think bathroom, and is it's as if my soul has pulled out of my body and is in the bathroom. And anything that happens, the walking, the movement of my body, the other thoughts that are happening as I make my way to the bathroom are are lost to me. Um the soul has already gone to the bathroom, and and just the the delayed reaction of the physical body, the actual process, right? So we lose the thing, and and you know, this is our tendency of the mind. It skips from here to to to there, wherever there is.

SPEAKER_01: 16:40

And this is this is you don't think about the journey until you twist your ankle one day and it hurts, and then every single step that you take, the mind is drawn there. You're like, Well, I'm taking a step. Wow, I'm taking a step. Wow, I'm taking a step. It's only in those moments when you hurt yourself that you remember some kind of loud. Yeah, unfortunately. And then we offer always say, Why wait for that moment? That that's too late. When you're hurt already, you've been damaged.

SPEAKER_03: 17:04

I think I think why people stand on the light and don't turn on a blinker. Oh, yeah. Because their mind has uh arrived at the store and is currently buying the milk and the eggs uh that you are going to buy, you're not driving. You're not like I'm making this left turn. Here I am on this intersection in this car, and it has a blinker, and I turn the blinker because I'm turning, because I want to let other drivers know that I'm turning. You know, how many times you stand on a light and and and you there's a car in front of you, and and you just cross your fingers and hope that the blinker doesn't go on the second the tar the light turns green, and yet the line turns green and the blinker turns on if you're lucky, or or sometimes not even. The the mind being so entangled and so caught up with some other destination or some other going on that the current moment of living is gone. And this is the Zen thing is the waking up, the appreciation, the knowing of the current moment unfolding because everything else is either a mirage or a memory. It's either a dream or a memory of something. Uh we really have only the now and the here, and I know this is uh you know bordering and uh adjacent to the bumper sticker kind of philosophies that I frequently um highlight that we mustn't just die at the slogans, but it really is what is the most important time and place that is available to us, that is really where life is unfolding. It really is now the it's the place in which you hold some power. Right. You have no power in the next minute, you might not even be here. Um and you certainly don't have the p power of the minute ago to to undo anything. Um and this is also the foundation of our karmic burdens. It's not that you could undo it, you just have to do more good things if it's a negative thing that you uh that you're trying to ameliorate. But so you know, it it's um during the New Year celebration I gave a Dharma talk and the point was about exactly the the principle of New Year's resolutions. And uh I said that I I prefer the term revolution. Not a resolution, I resolve to do something, but a revolution. Because what we are trying to accomplish essentially is to one recognize something within ourselves, two make a plan to alter that, and three the effort of actually doing so. And what we are largely dealing with, if not the whole of it, are our Kojung Kwanyam, our fixed I mean we've talked uh about Kojung Kwanyam uh you know numerous times on this podcast, and um it's the fixed ideas, the habituated way that we operate in the world. To change that really is a revolutionary act. It is because when you think of the word revolution, you're thinking of an uprising against an oppressive force, right? Usually some injustice or some oppression. And so if the oppression is coming from above in a sense, as it frequently is, um it's easier to recognize it. I want to stand up but I'm pushed down, or I want to get up, I'm lying down on the ground, I want to get up, but you know, there's a sort of boot on my neck kind of thing. So to feel the downward oppression is easier and it's and it's uh more available to our uh acknowledgement. I'm trying to do something, but you're pressing me. But the kanyum our our habituated way of doing and and and and our beliefs uh in things and and our views and and uh we're we're not necessarily talking about the subtle ones. I usually ask people, you know, oh have you seen the sunrise? You know, oh it's a new year, have you seen a sunrise? And someone will say, Oh yes. Oh, have you seen a sunset? And they will say, Oh yes. And the truth of the matter is those are all kwa jung kwanyum because the sun doesn't rise or set, it's we are the ones that are moving and the things of that nature. So I'm not even talking about those. Those are to be considered at some other stage in our spiritual development. But um the way that we respond to the world, the way that we respond to uh a verbal attack, or what we interpret a verbal attack to be, what we what how we respond to circumstances and and things of that nature, those things, because in our own mind, the thought is I'm right, because this is a thought of mine. An external or outward, downward oppression is clearly seen as an external force exerting power over me, right? So I I the revolution against that is easier perceived and easier understood, and and that's what we usually think about. Oh, revolution against some external forces oppressing. But because the thought arises from within, and it and it's hardly even true to call it a thought. It's a reaction, not a thought anymore. Um, we think it's a thought, but we think all the thinking that we do is the greatest thing ever happened, you know. So so we think um it's a thought, it's it's a it's programmed, it is a kung khanyum acting out its its habituated course.

SPEAKER_01: 24:09

Um Right, it's like almost like the reflex, right? Yeah, you you strike the below the kneecap, yeah, and you get you get the jerk knee jerk reaction. But you you think about that moment when the doctor does that, you didn't do that, right? You didn't mindfully, you didn't willingly do that, you didn't order that leg to move, it just moved by itself, right? So this is this kind of uh reaction that you have in those moments because you're essentially the moment has captivated you and it's like a parasite, it's it's like a mental parasite, and now it's doing the driving, not you.

SPEAKER_03: 24:43

And and it's important to remember that you know we all have these knee-jerk reactions to things. Um, but we have to remember that there it the fact that it's a knee-jerk reaction, something that's been acquired and established uh throughout our lives, doesn't absolve you from the karmic repercussions of your action. Right, because sometimes you get uh, oh, that was just a reaction, everything, I'm sorry. Right. That's uh okay, right, but doesn't absolve you from the from reaping the the karmic repercussions or legal repercussions or whatever.

SPEAKER_01: 25:18

I think the law follows those same points, right? Just because you're I think there's a saying that I've heard ignorance of the law, right, doesn't absolve you from its consequences. And so sometimes it's even worse.

SPEAKER_03: 25:30

Yeah. And and you know, so it's this kung kwanyum. So it has this sort of internal, the mechanism is internal, albeit triggered by by some sensory thing or a memory thing. Uh but it's an internal thing, and it's sort of oppression by pulling, not by pushing. So it's not an externally kind of mushed down by some external you know power trying to oppress me that I have to uh uh launch this revolution against. It's the revolution against one's own oppression of self against self. I love that. That's a beautiful way to look at it. It is because we are so already externally focused, everything of our interest and our sensory um interactions are external sounds, smells, tastes, touches, etc. etc. And and we are so trained to look to the outside for the reasoning of causes and conditions, for the blame of oh, that person, this thing, because that thing, that's why, you know, that whole trajectory of cause and effect, but usually looking for some victimization of somebody outside or blame of somebody outside, and it's external. So the internal processes when they arise within us are hardly ever seen, unless they are so extreme. Like you said, you you twist your ankle, now you know you're walking. Right. You know, or you wake up and you have plantar fasciitis and you first time step down on the floor and and you're you're screaming and cringe in pain, your nervous system is on fire, and now you know you are walking.

SPEAKER_01: 27:29

While at other times fine 52 years of your life, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 27:35

Now you're fine. But have you?

SPEAKER_01: 27:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 27:37

So is it that I only walk when my foot's in pain? Is it that I only bend down when my back hurts? Is it only that I reach something on the shelf when my shoulder screams at me? Am I alive only in the moments of extreme?

SPEAKER_01: 27:54

Why wait for the damage before you wake up and make the proper adjustments to preserve your life?

SPEAKER_03: 28:03

And it's but it's even just a question of of uh sort of life itself.

unknown: 28:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 28:11

You know, it's sort of existential thing. Not it it of course, it's you know, why wait if you have a deteriorating shoulder, you know, if you have shoulder impingement, then why wait? You know, why not address it early? Uh but just life itself, am I only alive when I'm in pain? When I'm only alive when the extreme are things are happening.

SPEAKER_01: 28:37

Um I love your idea though, just uh kick it back around to the Kojun Kwanyum, because then I also had the thought. If we are living our lives constantly searching externally and just reacting, are we just a slave then of our reactions?

SPEAKER_03: 28:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 28:56

Because you're not participating in in this thought of what just happened, what is my best way forward? Right. And but they see here's the crazy thing.

SPEAKER_03: 29:08

We are doing that, like you said. We're we're we're being driven around or led by our nose, uh, by the stronghold of the Kojung Kwanyum grip, and then we do a thing time and time again, so we're not participating, and yet we reap the benefits or or the the outcome of the thing. Right. I think at one point in time I I had this imagery of a person who um hates wheat, like the the grain. And whenever the uh a little patch of wheat grew, he would take a stick and just beat it. Because he don't I hate this, and just keep hitting the wheat stalks. And the next season had three times more wheat because by hitting the thing, the seeds were scattered, and everything. That's a very good metaphor, you know, and and it's this kind of um thing of of perpetuating and perpetuating and perpetuating. Right. And and so we we are living when we are living on autopilot, the autopilot makes decisions, ultimately decisions programmed into the autopilot by us, uh, and it lives out these decisions, and these and these decisions then have their own outcomes, and we are faced with outcomes again.

SPEAKER_01: 30:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 30:41

But we, in a sense, didn't do it. I didn't do it, it wasn't me because the the doing wasn't active, right? The doing self wasn't doing, the doing self was asleep, letting you know, in that that torpor of uh absent mindedness to do a thing. But if we are only experiencing the extreme, we are certainly going to experience the extreme outcomes of those actions. So this is the this is the the bondage and it and it's so sad because the action is done when habitual, right? The action is done automatically, so without almost without my participation. So when it's automatic or unconscious, right, in that in that context, I'm not there, so I don't even feel it. But the outcome of it comes back, usually an extreme, and I experience the outcome of it, and I feel it. I wake I am awakened because I if I only live during extremes, then in the extreme of the pain of the outcome of my own doing, I am suffering. And then I fall asleep again, another yet uh pattern of behavior comes out of me. I am asleep for it because it's not extreme, because when it's habituated and unconscious, I don't know. I'm not even there. And then that again creates its outcome, and I suffer the outcome of it, and then one way could say, Well, all I'm doing is suffering because I'm only awake during the sufferings and the extreme outcomes and asleep during the actions of my habitual.

SPEAKER_01: 32:49

My goodness, it is this is like lighting one fuse inside of a firework factory, and then one goes off and blows up, and then it's just all downhill after that. The domino effect begins. And each one lights up the next one, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one. And now you have a fire whole firework show going on there just from that one instant of lighting that one fuse.

SPEAKER_03: 33:11

Yeah, and and the the wakefulness that we practice, the the wake up you know, shout of the Zenmaster, wake up right now, says in in between the explosions of the of the the dynamites, there is the fuse that connects, and you could cut that fuse very easily, very easily if you are awake, yeah, but you aren't. You come to exist in the explosions, the plume of it then blinds you for the next explosion, and sometimes there's just one after the other, and one person might think that there isn't a break. All I have is explosion and explosion and explosion and explosion. Ah, yes. But there's a because the explosion creates this plume or dust or smoke. Right. You don't see clearly, you don't see the next fuse of the next thing. And by the time the plume and the dust settles, you've already set off the next one. And and and and for a person like this, it seems live, it's just one continuous course after the other.

SPEAKER_01: 34:19

Right. You're just now drowning, right? Overwhelmed, yeah, and the loud noises might scare you. Sure. All of these things just further cripple you and hinder you from becoming wakeful from living and taking action and changing literally. This is all a transformation. This is a inner revolution, as you're describing, that can literally change that course of your life.

SPEAKER_03: 34:45

And I say it's a revolutionary act in in the sense that it revolutions need mustering of energies, especially when when when there's a uh fear of the oppressive force, right? So you have to overcome one's own fear, but the inner revolution, and and this is why we have to acknowledge things within ourselves that ought to be feared uh correctly. You know, Bob Kugyung Sutra says, uh do not dismiss the small actions, a jar fills drop draw drop by drop, right? And there's a time element because it also says milk sours little by little. Yeah. And so it's these actions, whether good or or negative, have this uh compounding uh cumulative um process with which we acquire the the the whole of it, the opjang, the jar of the storage of our karma. But we must have a healthy understanding. Is this thought that I'm having, is this behavior something that I ought to be fearful of within myself? When I see it coming up, should I sound alarms uh within myself and and to kind of wake me up further into this very moment to make sure that I don't go down this path that is uh our uh coming up? Right.

SPEAKER_01: 36:24

This is where I think you need to practice. This is what Zen calls us to do to practice, don't wait for the problem. I mean, you could look at a school, right? They don't wait for fire to practice fire drills, yeah. Right, we practice the fire drill for hopefully never, but if that situation were ever to occur, one would understand.

SPEAKER_03: 36:44

And what makes the revolution element more uh really I don't mean the word revolution in in in as a small thing, it really is revolution, it's a revolutionary act, especially when the self yeah the oppression of self by self is subtle because we don't see it coming in, it's a friendly thing. We don't see it from the inside, right? And we don't see it, it's an inside thing, and we don't see that arising half the time.

SPEAKER_01: 37:22

We assume it's it's a friendly thing, it's coming from me. You identify with it, sure. Like you said earlier, with that thought, it's my thought, and then the ego gets hold of it, forget when the ego gets hold of it, forget about it.

SPEAKER_03: 37:34

You think you are right. I said that one time. I said, uh, you know, be careful of your thinking. You know, we have this programmed ways, and it's not really thinking anymore, it's just remembering and confirmation biases and things like that. And and a woman uh who was in the workplace, you know, said, you know, I I don't I don't know what to do with that because all I have is my thinking, and I pride myself on my thinking. Right. Which is a valid uh concern. But it it suggests that all thinking is the same. Right. Uh there's no all thinking is just one kind of thing. There's various sources of our thinking, and and that's what we're saying. These fixed uh habits of behavior, and and we're we're talking about the negative habits of behavior, uh, are come up and and you know they could be viewed as thinking, uh, racism, sexism, ageism, right, bullying, uh all of those things.

SPEAKER_01: 38:49

Uh there's always a justification that a person can make at that very instant, where it could be smoking. Right. Why am I why am I there? They make a justification. Yeah, this is this is right for me to do because that's right. And there's endless things that can fill that sentence, right?

SPEAKER_03: 39:05

Yep. And that's that's uh where we need the discernment of our inner happenings, which is another reason why we practice in suhang to observe the moment here is to observe all of the happenings here. You know, people think that like these mindfulness practices, like I'm just walking around and so everywhere I go I should just be thinking about my feet making contact with the earth. It's um that is to say it's a preparatory practice because what is when the thought arises in my mind that what source has it that it comes from? Is it a genuine thought? Is it just a recollection? Of something I heard? Is it such mindless regurgitation of lifetime of behavior? Is it triggered by external circumstances? Is it triggered by internal circumstances? What's it caused? So if I'm feeling impatient, why am I feeling impatient? But you have to know you're feeling impatient to begin with. Why am I feeling impatient? You know, is it something that somebody said? Is it my current situation what happened yesterday? It you know, person comes and says, Oh, I I don't feel well, my stomach hurts. Oh, you know, I had or I had you know diarrhea or constipation. And what we asked is, well, what did you have for the meal, last meal you had? Breakfast. Or what did you have dinner time? So what were the what were the the steps little by little that brought you to the current condition, current situation you're in? So if you're feeling impatient, uh to acknowledge you're feeling impatient is a big step, but then it needs to be impatient. Why?

SPEAKER_01: 41:11

How many people reflect in that moment? What did I eat that made me impatient? And by eating, right? We're not talking about actual food. Yeah. What did I what kind of feeling did I eat? What kind of situation did I highlight in my life where I just consumed that with that you know, tunnel vision or with those horse flaps?

SPEAKER_04: 41:34

Yeah.

unknown: 41:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 41:35

What emotional? What did I see on TV on my phone? You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 41:42

It's it's so many, so many things at play and too.

SPEAKER_01: 41:46

People just say, I'm just impatient.

SPEAKER_03: 41:48

Right. Oh, well, that's right.

SPEAKER_01: 41:51

Don't even start on the I'm just I'm just impatient, right? Nobody's just anything.

SPEAKER_03: 41:56

Nobody's just anything. And I had a whole talk about this not that long ago, about this just because this is another cop out and it's another uh pretense of insight. Oh, you know, I'm just I'm just like this. And it's usually declared in response to some negative thing. Oh, you're so violent. Ah, I'm just like that because X, Y, and Z. Meaning you're fine with it. Right. And and and at first, uh, you know, the person might say yes, but in the quietude of their own solitude, uh, they feel uneasy with that. You know, there's a posturing that takes place at at, you know, when confronted and say, oh no, that's just who I am. And uh, you know, but they go home and and and the heaviness of it weighs. And uh it I'm just you know, I'm just like that. It's uh it's a cop-out, like I said, that presents us some insight um into self. And it's just like, well, you know, that is to say, you wouldn't say that about you know dislocated shoulder. Ah, it's just like that. Right, let's just leave it. It's just it's just dislocated. I'm just gonna, you know, pop around.

SPEAKER_01: 43:10

There are a lot of bleeding hearts at the hands of a person that announced a decree into the world of this is just the way I am. Right, right.

SPEAKER_03: 43:19

Bleeding hearts, bleeding, bleeding psyches, bleeding bodies, bleeding, yeah, bleeding everything. Bleeding bank accounts, bleeding anything and everything. Livers, livers, yes, absolutely. So I guess what we're saying is uh as we do meander through this.

SPEAKER_01: 43:45

Everything comes back around, though.

SPEAKER_02: 43:47

Everything is yes, everything goes back to the road.

SPEAKER_01: 43:48

Intervolve meanders neatly into a beautiful oh look, there's a butterfly.

SPEAKER_03: 43:54

It's uh it is uh my message for this year was this message of of viewing uh our work of self-transformation, which which people pick up during this time of year, not as a resolution, but as a revolution, and it is a revolutionary act to rise up against one's own prejudices, to rise up against one's own programming, mindlessness, uh it's a revolutionary act, it needs that kind of approach, it needs that kind of a uh strong banner to fly because it's not a small task. I don't know, and um as uh what it could provide it could revolutionize it's a revolutionary act that could revolutionize who on is absolutely what suffering and who on is it's what sort of suffering are you casting yourself and the w those around you into and the karmic consequences never stop I didn't know it doesn't do it. So cheers, y'all. Wake up, wake up intercede, intercede in this.

SPEAKER_01: 45:36

It is a react that maybe you weren't participating in, yet you have to be, no matter what, the receiver or the person who has bequeathed the effects of your actions. Right. If you want to live. So give yourself a gift to your future self. Give your future self a gift today with a heroic act of interceding in this you've been gathering and collecting for many, many years. But you must muster up great courage too, because it is to go against this wave of habits of the city.

SPEAKER_03: 46:20

And the ego will mount a great defense. Amount a great defense against the change, sure, against uh well, but that's just how I that's what it is. That's the the rationale and the rationalization.

SPEAKER_01: 46:34

Some people will hold on to their suffering because they've completely identified themselves as a person who suffered for so many years that they become their identity. Yeah, so the fear of there's the fear of the unknown. Who am I if I don't carry this with me?

SPEAKER_03: 46:53

Yeah, it's it's it's it's it's an empty nest thing, right? What is it when when you know a couple and the children leave the home and then there's that empty nest and and frequently leads to divorces and separations, right? Or some some crises, and and you know, well, do we even know one another? We've spent, you know, 20 years tending to the children, and now that they're gone, what am I no longer what am I? Because I'm not a soccer mom anymore, and and you know, etc. etc. And and um so there is there's an empty nest of when we when we um graduate out of our khojong kwanyum. So there's a fear of you know, if you've identified with your suffering and and justified your suffering and your behaviors on account of some you know childhood oppression or or uh some trauma, and and again, we're not downplaying any traumas that people have undergone, but we're just saying that um uh sometimes that becomes the whole of the person and the identity of the person, and the person will hold on to it because, like you said, well if I'm not this then who am I? And uh it's it's just a theoretical question that blocks the actual work because when you do get rid of it, you find out who you are, and what you find out you are pleased with. But the fear is if this is an entire persona of me, then there's nothingness that is behind it, but that's absolutely not the case. But it's it it's a just a theoretical thinking that prevents people from doing the work, and and that's the justifications like well, uh you know, I you know if I I think Tom Waits has this line and says, if I get rid of my devils, will my angels uh leave too, you know, and that kind of thing. So, but don't fear, there is absolutely a wonderful thing behind all of our acquired dust. May you be dustless in this new year. Yes. I think that's it for us. Yeah, take care of yourselves and each other.

SPEAKER_01: 49:23

Until next time, I'm Young Ansenim. From my heart to yours, I'm Dr. Ruben Lambert, and I want to encourage everyone to take the path less taken. It's gonna be challenging because it hasn't been tended to, that path hasn't been carved. But at the end of that, hard work and diligent effort, there's a great oasis waiting for you at the end of that path that you carve out.